Dear Mom and Dad,
Over these past few years,since I have left home to live abroad, I feel that I have grown significantly. I am not able to call where I am living “home” for where I am now is not ourhome. Where I am now is not even our country, and I rarely feel safe when I’m far from my only real home, Thailand. In spite of this, I have still enjoyed every moment abroad and have never felt very lonely because I know that I will always have my loved ones, Je Yu, and Jeed in my thoughts. In being far from home, I have learned about how to love myself and how to stand on my own.
While I have everything I could ever wish for at home, living abroad I have to wait tables for a living. Working for a living abroad has made me realize that the love from the both of you cannot be bought with any amount of money. Your love has no cost and it will always remain with me throughout the rest of my life.
I would like to honor the strongest power that you have given to me. You have given me love that provides me the strength to fight against inevitable prejudice and bias from others because I have lived my life the way I have wanted. During my life time fight, I know that I will never feel lonely nor lose my spirit. My strength is an asset from an abundance of love that I have received from you and I know that no one can take this power away from me. You have given me a most wonderful gift. It has grown to become an inner strength, far better than the jewels and gold valued by most people. This most cherished gift will always be with me until my breath is taken away. This gift has become as essential as air, and will always nourish my spirit and soul while keeping me moving forward.
Mom, you once told me “I love you, and I would give you everything except the moon and stars in the sky where I couldn’t reach.” I would simply like to say that gifts, to include the moon and the stars, aren’t important to me. Everything ages and is eventually destroyed by nature due to the manner of time. However, parental love is never gone from one’s heart. It will always be kept beating inside me. Mom and dad, you two are amazing parents. You have committed every minute of your life since I was born to being wonderful parents. I don’t know if I will ever fully understand how difficult it is to raise children or if I will understand how patient you both were while raising your children. I also don’t know how many tears you have shed when your children have disappointed you or even how disappointed you were in me being a transgender. Nevertheless, I know for certain that your love for both my sisters and myself has kept our family together as if it is a miracle power in the family.
You two shouldn’t worry that I may lose to prejudice and bias due to my transgender identity; those barriers will be overcome by the strength and inner power that I have seized from your love, acceptance, and support.
Additionally, I have learned to share my love with those who are around me and with the world in which I live. The tremendous love, that will never be empty in my heart, is rooted in having a warm and loving family. I have learned to live and love the others forwhom I care. Although, my love for them cannot be compared to the love you have shown for me. In this, I have realized that the greatest expression of gratitude for your love is to also love myself. In order to repay all of the wonderful years that you have loved me for who I am, I promise to take care of myself and to place it as first priority. After all, it is my own responsibility.
Last but not least, I would like to say that I love you both so very much and that my love for you will be with me until the end of my life. Thank you so much for allowing me be myself and for empowering me to love who I am.
Love,
Yong-Hua
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